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    錯誤的教育認知不僅沒讓孩子贏在起跑線,反而讓家長累死在起跑線上

    錯誤的教育認知不僅沒讓孩子贏在起跑線,反而讓家長累死在起跑線上


    來源:學習力教育中心  文章作者:余建祥

      不要讓孩子輸在起跑線上幾乎成了很多家長的普遍共識,這句話本身并沒有什么錯誤,教育就是需要從小就開始著手的。但是,錯誤的教育認知就會讓這句話成為毒藥。前不久,南京一家醫院后半夜了一位33位的年輕媽媽,在輔導女兒作業時,因為孩子動作磨蹭,一動怒,導致頭部一根大血管分支血管堵塞,誘發中風。去年,也曾有家長輔導孩子做作業心梗住院的新聞。在家長圈流行著一句“不做作業,母慈子孝;一做作業,雞飛狗跳”的名言,多數家長都為輔導孩子做作業傷透了腦筋。這些天,朋友圈里掀起了一股“提前嫁女娶媳婦兒”的浪潮。不少年輕家長表示,愿意為孩子提供優厚的婚嫁條件,“有房送車配嫁妝”,前提是現在就接走,把孩子的作業都輔導一下。當然,這只是年輕家長們苦中作樂的一種玩笑。造成這種糟糕現狀的根本原因,正是因為家長們的錯誤教育認知。多數家長把輔導孩子做作業的目的看成了孩子不會什么教什么,但這樣的結果是孩子永遠不能自己解決問題,碰到問題就需要依賴父母或老師。真正的家庭輔導應該是在這個過程中培養起孩子良好的學習習慣和學科思維,讓孩子學會獨立自主地解決問題,學會做好自我管理。這樣,孩子對老師的依賴性就會越來越低,學習會越來越獨立自主,學習能力和學習效率也會大幅提升。正所謂“授人以魚,不如授人以漁”,F實中多數家長習慣了授孩子以“魚”,而不是授孩子以“漁”。家長們在孩子的教育上更是走一步算一步,缺乏科學的教育前瞻性。

      現實中,大量的教育集中在幼兒期和小學。比如,幾乎百分之九十以上的教育敏感期是在幼兒期,諸如孩子閱讀理解能力的培養、語言能力的培養、細節敏感期,而孩子的專注力、意志力等的培養,幼兒也是關鍵期,孩子學習習慣的培養則是幼兒占一部分,小學占一部分。而我們的家長過多地把注意力放到了孩子的知識掌握上,而忽略了上述這些最重要的核心素養的培養。只要這些核心素養培養好,孩子學習知識、技能是很簡單的事,根本不需要過多地操心。我們的家長正是把過多的精力專注到了孩子知識、技能的培養上,而忽略了真正決定孩子未來的核心素養的培養,這才是中國教育最大的誤區。誠然,知識的掌握會立竿見影,比如孩子背會了一首詩,家長馬上能看到結果,很容易讓家長把注意點放到這個上面。而孩子核心素養的培養則好比打地基,只有地基打好了,才能在上面蓋摩天大廈,否則最多只能蓋個茅草棚。所以家長沒必要急著蓋房子,而應該先把孩子的“地基”打扎實了,才是家長最應該做的事。很多家長只關注地基上的房子,而忽略了地基的建設,這就導致了往上蓋房子問題頻出。

      孩子是一個獨立的個體,并不是依附于父母的,所以家長不可能代替孩子成長,或者天天督促孩子成長,這樣只會讓教育越來越艱難。所以培養孩子獨立自主的學習能力和自我管理能力,才是家長最應該做的,而不是天天督促孩子學習,那樣,家長遲早會把自己累死。

      再比如孩子的家庭教育頂層設計,多數家長是忽略掉的。一般來說,孩子5歲之前就會充分展示出其天賦,孩子做自己天賦的事情必然是事半功倍,極易取得成功,并建立起強大的自信心。所以,根據孩子的天賦來做科學的教育頂層設計和規劃,是需要每個家長及早做的,F實中,多數家長對孩子的天賦認識不足,甚至把興趣愛好當成天賦,這都極易導致孩子天賦的湮沒。努力可以讓一個人變得更優秀,但只有天賦可以讓一個人變卓越。我們經常說的每個孩子都是天才,那是建立在發掘孩子的天賦基礎之上的,否則孩子極易走向平庸,F實中,能根據孩子的天賦來及早做家庭教育頂層設計的家庭極少,這就必然導致孩子走向平庸。

      所以,科學正確的家庭教育應該是根據孩子的天賦,及早為孩子做好科學的家庭教育頂層設計,讓孩子用天賦發展,用天賦學習成長,并在這個過程中培養好孩子的核心素養。家長一旦把這些工作做扎實了,孩子的成長就根本不需要家長費太多心了,孩子能自動自發地健康、快樂地成長。有了這些基石,孩子的學習會非常輕松高效,孩子也會在學習中不斷獲得自信和動力,這才是家長們正確的家庭教育路徑,也是孩子正確的成長路徑。家長們只有正確認知教育的科學規律,才能在孩子的教育和成長上舉重若輕,變得越來越輕松,越來越為孩子自豪。家長只需做一個孩子的引路人和在旁邊為孩子鼓掌的人足矣,何必把自己累成狗,效果還很差。(學習力教育中心 余建祥)


    ·上一篇文章:家長應該怎樣提升自己的家庭教育智慧?
    ·下一篇文章:警示:毀掉一個學生最好的六個路徑!


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